'Justice Is Blond' by Mike Hammer Stuff Magazine [June 2002] Elisabeth Rohm, the latest in a long line of special prosecutors on Law & Order, invites you into her chambers. Courtrooms have always turned us on-- the briefs, the Latin phrases, the topless bailiffs. On TV, they're even sexier. Exhibit A: Elisabeth Rohm, the scorching assistant D.A. on NBC's Law & Order. Off-camera, the tall, blond barrister readily shares bawdy boarding-school stories and can crack up a roomful of dudes with extended schtick about oral sex. She also exhibits a startling ability to knock back cold ones. Despite her roots in Dusseldorf, Germany, America has embraced the world's most luscious lawyer. I would have done the same, but she has formidable connections in law enforcement. Besides, I'm not ballsy enough to piss off Sam Waterston. The man's an animal. Stuff: Did you talk to your Law & Order predecessors to find out where the potential sexual-harassment suits were on the show? What's really funny is that I have the most inappropriate sexual-harassment sense of humor. So I oftentimes am told, "Liz, you really need to go to a sensitivity seminar." Recently, I went to see Robin Williams and he did this whole spoof on oral sex-- you know, how stupid people look when they're doing it. The next day I'm telling this whole involved monologue in front of a crew of, like, 100 guys. And Sam looks and me and he's laughing. He's like, "Liz, you've got to watch yourself-- you're a girl." But it does look stupid. Sex isn't sexy sometimes. Do you think you look stupid when you have sex? You're filled with abandon. And you lose your self-consciousness. You just want to pleaes your partner. And that means no holds barred. I guess if you don't look stupid, you're not doing it right. Speaking of silly-looking, do you have any unsettling Jerry Orbach stories? He's unsettling 'cause he's just happy all the time. Pretty annoying, isn't it? Yeah, it kinda bugs me [laughs]. So, in contrast, you're the angry, scary, brooding type? I walk away from confrontation, but then I come back...with a car bomb. Good thing I don't drive anymore. Don't worry-- I can find other ways to destroy your life. But then I'd spend hours apologizing, trying to make it up to you. In fact, let's have another drink. Is Sam Waterston as big a party guy as we think he is? Who said that? Um, I think it was me. Oh, I thought you'd heard about our nights out. Who hasn't? Any problems maintaining law and order? Not technically, but he and Dianne Wiest have definitely been known to go out and tie one on. We'll go to the Half King pub, which is right around the corner from the studio. And we'll pound down pint after pint. Then we'll talk about everything. Have you discussed Celebrity Boxing? It never came up, but we do talk a lot about sex. A three-way sex talk with Sam Waterston and Dianne Wiest. Who among us hasn't had that fantasy? It's not like we're talking about sex with each other. We're really just challenging each other intellectually. We all love hanging out together. They call us Waterston and the Twits. I have your second album. When we get together we want to shake things up. I call it stirring the pot, I don't care if you want to talk about bisexuality, if you want to talk about murder, if you want to talk about pain or childhood or things that are difficult. I'm fascinated. So tell me about your childhood. By the way, this is going to cost you $150 an hour. My dad's this big power attorney who lived on Park Avenue. My mom lives in Westchester [County in New York]. I was a little rebellious. When I was 18 or 19 I went through a bit of a dark period. I would just do crazy stuff. One night when I was 18, I was out till about 5 a.m. with my friends at a club in New York. I had to get back to my dorm way up in Westchester, so I jumped in a cab. Then I realized I had only 10 bucks on me. We were in the South Bronx and, like a genius, I told the driver I didn't have enough money. He dropped me off on the spot at some gas station from Escape from New York. No kidding, there was a stencil of a dead body on the ground and yellow crime-scene tape around it. I was terrified. I was screwed. What happened? This trucker pulled up and offered me a ride. I got in and, as a defense mechanism, I started getting all intellectual on him and talked about philosophy and literature until he almost passed out from boredom. Has an attractive woman ever tempted you to rifle through her briefs? No, but recently I ran into my best friend from college who I hadn't seen in years. She was absolutely stunning and great fun to be with. So I invited her to a cocktail party. She spent the entire time hitting on me like nobody's business. She wasn't apologetic at all about it. She told me she was sexually confused. So we went dancing and she was all over me. I'm sure she was as turned on by my celebrity as my body, but whatever it was, she wanted me badly. Anyway, I was fascinated by how much she desired me. I tried to say goodnight to her, but she begged me to let her come up to my apartment to look at college pics. I said OK, but I was really wary. When we got upstairs, my boyfriend was sitting there, and that put an end to it. And if he hadn't been there? Let's leave a little to the imagination. Ever get in trouble with the law? When I was 16, I was walking down Park Avenue smoking a cigarette and this cop was following me. I thought he was watching out for my ass-- but he was just watching my ass. I yelled at him. I told him to quit loitering and move along. It was disgusting. I was 16. Does being on Law & Order give you a get-out-of-jail free card with cops? Just the other day we were driving in Manhattan from one set to the other and we missed our exit and went through the tunnel to Brooklyn. My driver told me to ask a cop if we could make a U-turn. I rolled down the window and it was a really good-looking cop. He immediately recognized me and said, "Where do I know you from?" I told him Law & Order, and he got all excited. Then he told me we couldn't make a U-turn. What do you suppose those judges wear under their robes? I'm not sure, but if it were me and it were summertime, I'd go with a bikini. You used to be on Angel. Did you worry that it would promote vampirism among today's youth? I think vampires are so sexy, that whole eroticism around it. I guess being a free spirit to me is allowing yourself to be decadent-- and different. So you'd like the freedom to rip out men's throats? It's not like I want to dominate men. I think all women want to be with a strong man. They want to know that they are not the one in control all the time. I enjoy my femininity. I can do things you can't-- like wear these sexy heels and luscious lingerie. You should have seen me last night. I bet that was cute. This article is the intellectual property of Stuff Magazine and its author. It is transcribed simply for fan purposes. No copyright infringement is intended. :: Back up ::       2008 Rohm with a View. Rohm with a View (lis-rohm.net) is an independent publication and is not endorsed by Elisabeth Rohm, her management or any related companies. Opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of Elisabeth Rohm or her management.